Clem's Online Shop 2

Only the best from the web to you!

Free shipping (only if your name starts with a double "Z", have one leg shorter than the other, and live in the same building my shop)


For your home office

Sharpens your pencils with a "meow"

It gets up your nose

This one does not "meow"



Trim away Pinocchio's nose each time he tells a lie




Too many of these will constitute a plague

How many times before have you told off your dog
for drinking from the toilet bowl?

Do you give eeffoc?

Big or small cuppa, we've got it covered

Gives you that sinking feeling

Looks like the oldest drinking vessel in the world


  Cushions Department


For when you feel like sitting on a pizza

BBQ Department

Too many cooks . . . .

He means bone-in ribsteak

Inferiority complex

Yes, but I cleaned the toilet with it before you

Heavily discounted . . . . 
Actually, we are giving this one away for free




Furniture Department

Arse licker

See how it feels to be canned sardine

Not house-trained yet

Comes with a full set of nuts and bolts for you to screw together

Loo Department

Peeping Tom decal


Executive toilet

Never run out of toilet roll ever again . . . .
Either that, or you have a huge arse

Kitchen Department



He holds bottoms up

Just don't scratch your arse with these on or
else you will become a Claude Bottom

Loch Ness monster in your soup

Utensil people

Guaranteed to be near misses all the time


Wabbit loves cawot

Pirate with a wooden (cork) leg

Now you can stick two pieces of toast together

Make your knives as sharp as shark teeth



24 March 2021






Created by Clem Kuek